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7 Healthy Habits In
By Ronda Phillips I Dare to Outdo Yourself!
CHALLENGE Yourself to:
IMPLEMENT RELATIONSHIPS 101 Into Your Lifestyle
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself regarding your relationships with others? On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you believe others would rate you regarding the relationships you have with them? If we were to be completely honest, most of us probably rated ourselves higher on the rating scale, compared to how others would most likely rate us themselves.
So, when you think about the relationships in your life, what comes to mind? What does having good quality relationships mean to you?
Relationship is defined as, the way in which concepts, objects or people are connected, or the state of being connected; the state of being connected by blood or marriage; the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.
There are many types of relationships to consider with other people, such as the relationship you may have with your spouse or partner, children, parents, siblings, extended relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers, clients or customers, and most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself.
Think about all of the relationships in your life. Some relationships may appear stronger than others. There may be relationships in your life that you have a desire to significantly improve. Rather than waiting on others to make the first move to make things right in the relationships you have with them, perhaps you have a great sense of awareness to initiate improving the relationships you have with others right now.
Here are 7 healthy relationship habits to implement throughout your daily lifestyle:
Everyone in this world is connected in some way, whether it is directly or indirectly. When life seems blissful and everyone seems to be operating according to our own expectations, it is easy to love. However, when there's turmoil, it may seem easier to turn a blind eye and say, "that's not my problem" when we see someone else suffering or experiencing a hardship in the midst of our relationships with them.
Love is an unconditional endearment of affection toward others -- not something that is simply turned on and off the moment we become displeased with those we are in relationships with. There are many who want to experience love, yet do not know how to give love in return. Unfortunately, if we have been betrayed, let down or rejected in some way, love can easily turn into hate, anger or jealousy.
However, we must take time out to process our feelings and emotions -- to try to understand the other person's perspective and imagine ourselves being in their place -- and what role we may have played in the situation (directly or indirectly) by being accountable without shifting blame. Love yourself first. Love conquers all.
Oftentimes, when others are going through a difficult time while things seem to be going smoothly with yourself, it can be easy to overlook their need for you to be there for them to provide a sense of comfort and reassurance.
For example, if someone experiences making a difficult decision, has an illness, death of a loved one or an unforeseen crisis, you may not be aware that at times your facial expressions, body language, abrupt voice tone or harsh choice of words can indicate a lack of sensitivity toward others in your relationships.
Taking the time to be patient and kind, and sometimes just sharing a hug or displaying a calm and soothing demeanor without saying a word, can speak volumes of sensitivity. Take time out to be sensitive toward your own needs, then you'll discover how easy it can be to express sensitivity toward others.
It would be fair to say that everyone wants to be respected by others. Unfortunately though, many people are often taken advantage of or taken for granted in relationships or with people we may encounter by acquaintance. If there is a dominant person in a relationship, the other person may feel as if they are being treated like a doormat.
For various reasons, such as when someone may not be able to get their way with someone in a relationship, they may disrespect the other person through name calling or some other form of mistreatment. Or, if someone in a relationship has deep rooted insecurities or inadequacy issues, they may choose to disrespect themselves first through betrayal toward their spouse or partner by having an affair for example, which in turn is a display of disrespect toward their partner, their family and the relationship itself.
When you know first-hand what it feels like to be disrespected, and you would not wish that experience upon anyone else, then you can easily treat others with respect in the way you would desire to be treated yourself. Others will most often treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Respect yourself.
In relationships, it takes time to get to know people, to learn about them and how they will handle making decisions that may affect or impact us and themselves in the process. In any relationship, there is always a risk that someone may lie to you or let you down. Initially, we put our trust in others until they give us a reason not to. Oftentimes, it's the ones dearest to us that betray us the most.
When we become betrayed in a relationship, it is so difficult to get back what you once had. You may no longer admire or see that person in the same way. If you both choose to remain in the relationship and genuinely want the relationship to work, take appropriate right action and seek professional help if necessary.
However, their trust must be earned. Whether you choose to remain in the relationship or not, forgive -- not for their sake, rather for yours. Trust yourself first. Trust yourself to make good choices. Trust yourself to be a person of integrity. Trust yourself to be a good judge of character regarding the people you establish relationships with.
The thought of being committed to anything, especially to someone in a relationship or the relationship itself can seem overwhelming. With commitment comes responsibility. You have to be willing to bring to the table whatever it is you have to offer that can add value to the relationship at every stage within the relationship.
Trying to make a good first impression or eluding that you intend to do right by someone just won't cut it alone. Aside from talking the talk, you've got to walk the walk. In the good times -- and the bad -- will you commit yourself to make the most of the relationship you are in? Will you commit yourself to do everything in your power to have a prosperous relationship, rather than bailing out as soon as situations become complicated or too inconvenient for you?
Make a commitment to yourself to to be resilient and discover what great stuff you are made of.
Effective talking and listening are both key aspects to communication in relationships. Interestingly, when we are used to doing things on our own and making our own decisions, it may be difficult to share what's on our mind or get input from those close to us prior to making an important decision.
Even more so, if you are someone who has been on your own most of your life, you may feel somewhat uncomfortable about checking-in with your spouse or partner if you have been away from home for a few hours or longer, for example -- thinking that it's unnecessary to tell someone your every move because you may feel like the other person is trying to control you, when a phone call or text simply displays common courtesy, consideration and regard toward those in your life.
Likewise, taking the time to listen to what someone has to say by stopping what you are doing and giving your undivided attention by not cutting the other person off while they are talking, shows that you care about what they are bringing to your attention. Communication in relationships is the means in which all involved have an opportunity to share their perspective.
Everyone may not see eye-to-eye on everything, however it is okay to agree to disagree. The common goal in communicating in relationships is to express concerns, share their view and come to a solution that will be beneficial to all involved. At times, this may mean having to make compromises, especially short-term, with an expectation toward having win-win results in the end. Communicate your best language.
Everyday, we should make a conscious effort to show and tell the people we care about how much we appreciate them. Smile when you are in the company of others. Say please and thank you when someone does something for you.
Make an effort to give of yourself in a way that will be beneficial to others, whether it be with your time, resources or finances. When others do for you, rather than having a sense of entitlement that everything is owed to you and taking for granted when others do for you, show appreciation by taking inspired action to better your life with the resources and opportunities you have received from others that have given you a head start in some way or helped make your life easier.
Appreciate yourself. Appreciate everyone who has been, and is, a part of your life's journey.
How truly important is it for you to have healthy relationships in your life?
Be reminded to implement these 7 healthy relationship habits throughout your daily lifestyle:
Implementing these habits may seem like an impossible achievement to do all at once, especially if you have not been putting them into practice all along. Starting now, focus on practicing one new habit a day with the relationship you have with yourself first, then with others. Each day, compound by implementing one more new habit with the relationship habit you started the day prior. After one week you will have implemented these seven habits in your relationships as a part of your daily lifestyle. Be consistent. Repeat the relationship habit process daily.
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To Your Empowerment!
To Your Empowerment!
Known for her creative style, positive influence and straightforward professionalism, Ronda Phillips is a certified life coach,author, speaker, television host, style expert and entrepreneur. Her core mission is to empower and challenge individuals to become propelled to take charge of their life through preparation, performance and persistence. Ronda is the founder of Dare to Outdo Yourself!
Prepare. Perform. Persist.
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